At first, it was like someone had poured an ice cold bucket of water on me. I was shocked, and then came a blink of relief, a fleeting moment that quickly washed away by an onslaught tears.
I remember getting into work the next morning and realizing that my life wouldn’t be the same. At first, it hurt like a fucking bitch. It felt like someone was digging a grave out of my heart. I couldn’t concentrate on anything around me, and I just couldn’t sit still. My mind was held prisoner by a series of questions that kept beating me down: Why? What did I do? How do you just stop?
I didn’t get it. Then my best friend said something she hadn’t before.
“Alex, I knew when I visited you that it wasn’t your forever,” she said to me.
What? But you said, you told me – Why didn’t you say something sooner?
“Because you were so happy, and I didn’t want to be the one to break that bubble. I knew that eventually you would figure it out.”
It’s not always easy to see the good in all the bad, and there is a reason the word hindsight exists; it takes time to develop an insight, understanding, and acceptance on the things that have happened in our lives.
A lot, and I mean a lot, has changed in my life in the past year, and if there is anything I have come to learn in the past year, it’s that some things in life are a blessing in disguise.
